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Busting Myths round Virginity and Its Mythical Guardian

Sex could permeate our standard tradition, however conversations about it are nonetheless related to stigma and disgrace in Indian households. As a end result, most people coping with sexual well being points or looking for details about intercourse typically resort to unverified on-line sources or comply with the unscientific recommendation of their pals.

To tackle the widespread misinformation about intercourse, is working this weekly intercourse column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’, each Friday. We hope to provoke conversations about intercourse by means of this column and tackle sexual well being points with scientific perception and nuance.

The column is being written by Sexologist Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain. In at present’s column, Dr Jain busts myths round virginity and its legendary guardian, the hymen.

The phrase virginity is usually understood to consult with somebody who has by no means had intercourse, however that leaves a variety of room for interpretation. Does oral intercourse depend? If a lady solely has intercourse with different ladies, is she a virgin? And so on. Plenty of myths about virginity are sometimes accepted as the reality.

Virginity has a sophisticated historical past, and has typically been (incorrectly) linked to breaking of the hymen. Hymen is a skinny membrane which covers or partially covers the doorway to the vagina. In many cultures, earlier than a lady is married, her hymen is examined to find out whether or not or not she is a virgin. The morning after marriage, bloody sheets are seen as an indication that the lady has ‘lost’ her virginity.

Here are some standard myths about virginity:

Myth 1: The hymen should break the primary time you might have intercourse.

The largest fable in regards to the hymen is that it breaks when a lady has intercourse for the primary time, and that this ends in bleeding, an indication that she was a virgin. In actuality, many ladies don’t expertise tearing of the hymen or bleeding the primary time they’ve intercourse. That’s as a result of the hymen can stretch.

Because of this fable, many ladies fear about ache and bleeding the primary time they’ve intercourse, which may make it tougher to get turned on. When a lady is aroused, the muscle tissue close to the opening of the vagina are relaxed, and the vagina creates pure lubrication in order that intercourse is extra snug—even when it’s the primary time. Worrying about ache can result in tightening of the muscle tissue and fewer lubrication, which may result in ache or bleeding.

Myth 2: A gynecologist can inform from trying on the hymen if a lady is virgin.

It is usually believed {that a} healthcare skilled by means of an examination of a lady’s hymen can differentiate between a virgin and a non-virgin. This is way from reality. Hymen can stretch and one’s virginity standing hardly makes an impression on it.

Myth 3: Your companion can inform your standing.

Many ladies fear their companion can inform if they’re virgin or not. The reality is your hymen doesn’t reveal your virginity standing, and even skilled medical consultants can’t inform whether or not you’re a virgin or not. However, sharing your sexual historical past together with your companion will assist construct belief and enhance intimacy.

Myth 4: Pain throughout your first intercourse is simply your hymen breaking.

The ache ladies expertise the primary time they’ve intercourse is normally not as a result of hymen-breaking. In truth, the explanation it hurts a lot might be as a result of the lady is nervous and has hassle getting aroused and lubricated, which might result in a painful insertion; or each companions could also be inexperienced and over-eager, which may result in a minor harm. In each instances, it’s almost definitely your vaginal tissue that’s bleeding, not your hymen.

Myth 5: Penetrative vaginal intercourse is the core marker of your virginity.

As per conventional beliefs, solely when a penis enters the vagina, it’s intercourse. This is a redundant, false and misogynistic definition of intercourse as a result of it doesn’t account for queer intercourse or different types of expressing sexuality. Whether or not one thing “counts” as intercourse typically varies, based mostly on these elements:

* Consent

* Ejaculation/ orgasm

* Duration

* Intention

* Penetration

This simply exhibits that there isn’t anybody definitive marker of intercourse. Penetrative vaginal intercourse is simply one of many some ways to specific sexuality. How you outline intercourse is as much as you. There isn’t any must let exterior perceptions outline your virginity.

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